blah

hm.

well.


Uhrm. Finding Neverland. Is an excellent film.

I spent most of yesterday unable to construct proper sentences. Alot of the time it sounded like I was drunk. I can assure you, I was not.


Anyhoo, I'm sure I had something interesting to say, Oh yeah, I was thinking about previous posts, and I would like to say that I have not listened to either the Distillers or the Gossip for quite a long time. And actually, I'm not sure I particularly like either band as much as I did.

Not sure why you wanted to know that. I'm sure there are other things I could say.

good night.

ps. does anyone else find it odd seeing someone almost a year after you last saw them, but not speaking to them, just walking past? Or is it just the shaking bt thats weird? Sorry.

RSAM-frickin-D

What a load of prentious twaddle.

Sorry, but I realised on friday that although the RSAMD is (apparently) the school of excellence for drama in Scotland, all they really want are people who think that "Pushing a Building" is art. For eight (yes, EIGHT!) hours. Or, that balancing on a chair, blindfolded, in a stupid suit, is anything to do with any of our stimuli, or to with anything at all.

Honestly.

I'm not bitter, I realised by lunchtime that I didn't really want to go there anyway, but it would have been nice to know that i was good enough. I guess I'm not radical enough though.

Oh well. It was a fun day, and I (and some other guy caled Gordon, who's been auditioning for like three years) spent lunch tutoring another girl, Fiona, on how to read and learn Shakespeare because she is going back to do the acting audition. And she's never done Shakespeare. Soooo.. that should be interesting. Anyway, I'm off now. Got a report to revise.....

[alone]

I don't really know why im sitting here tonight. Yes, partially it is an attempt to escape from doing any work at all tonight, but other than that I really don't know.

I guess I'm feeling like the title says, alone. But not the big bad scary Alone alone, just, lonely I guess.

I have no reason to feel this way. Absolutely none. I guess its just because for one reason or another, today sucked and I don't really know why. Jeez, I don't know alot do I?

It's so selfish. 65 huh, thats all I get when I lean my head on the keyboard in despair. 65 and a beep. And no-one is online.

I just don't feel real sometimes. And then sometimes I think everything that is at all wrong with me is in my head. Like, hell, if I really put my mind to it, I could eat normal food. Yeah, whatever. I just.. I dunno, I feel like a fraud and a total ass for taking up everyones time when there are worse hings happening and whatever it is that I'm messing myself up with is nothing really.

I'm talking crap again. I'm going to leave.

A comment.

I said that the Sunday the Americans left was the saddest day of my life, yes?

Well, I'd like to amend that. In retrospect, it was not the saddest day of my life because I will still talk to them and stuff and just because they've left now doesn't mean I will never see them again.

And other things that are worse that that have happened to me, as regular readers (or my friends, most of which my readers are, so the categories are fairly redundant, Anyway) will know.

So that was all. I just felt I should amend that.

I'm warm but shivering

how odd is that?

Anyway.

Well, I discovered last week that a friend of mine from camp died suddenly. He was the same age as me and perfectly healthy. He was even a life guard and stuff, and he just collapsed on the street and died. He had a cardiac disrrythmia or something. It was very sad anyway, because he was such a nice kid. He wrote a speech on the last day of camp to tell us all how much of a great time he had had, and how accepted he had felt, because he was worried before camp that he might not make any friends. So that was very sad. And upset me.

Life goes on though I suppose.

I guess that's all.

I don't really have anything exciting to say, except (and again this is a bit depressing) I haven't been to see Nicky's gravestone yet and I might sometime soon.

wow, this was a depressing post. well, good night.