hmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
again I'm listening to starsailor its this little hidden bit on the end of the album, its all tuneful and melodic and harmonic and then someone laughs and it stops, but it goes out on a high, totally joyous, happy. I wish everything could end on an up note. It would make life so much better. But then again I guess it wouldn't. We would all have all these pent up emotions, all the sadness and disappointment in our entire lives would be built up until we couldn't stand it, and then once we burst no one would really know how to cope, so it would be sad, because you would be trying to be yourself and bare your soul and noone would get it, they would be all distressed and unable to understand because they hadn't been through it yet, and your life would no longer be happy and upbeat. oh crap I've just depressed myself. Fantastic. Well enjoy your evening. I have the gloomy prospect of maths homework that I am currently neglecting, (sorry, Emily, I know you like maths. You weird child you. If you get around to reading this...)

oh

by the way, the lyrics in the post befor last, the oh i do like to be beside the seaside one are by belle and sebastion and are from their album if you're feeling sinister. why do i have the compulsion to explain myself to the internet? its like talking in your head. oh, voices...

ill be your guide in the morning

you cover up bullet holes. listen to starsailor, love is here. it is an excellent album. again im suggesting things to myself that i already have. yippee.

oh I do like to be beside the sea

I'm not entirely sure why I'm yet again posting to the great unknown. No one reads these anyway. ho hum. I'm so happy, I got great fantastic fantabulous results in drama! I just need to sort out my acting piece now. Fantastic. I have to be fifty. And then I have to be Medea. oh fantastic!!!!! Anyhow. Yes well, 'Judy was a teenage rebel. She did it with a boy when she was young, she gave herself to books and learning, she gave herself to be a nun'..... 'make a new cult every day'. I think you should read touching from a distance. Its the life story of Ian Curtis, as told by his wife and best friends! It is really good, so far. It has a complete gig list at the end, and Joy Division played at Dundee in the Caird hall. It also has all the lyrics, published and unseen. It is an excellent book, but he is so not how you expect him to be, which just shows you that we all have misconceptions of people, we see them, or hear of them and we label them 'punk' 'Goth' 'weirdo' 'freak' 'geek' before we even see them, or know them. Its so sad really. No one can be themselves, truly themselves without the fear of being labeled and ostracized. Even if you do follow your instincts and be unique then someone is going to copy you. It's now cool to be different. But not many people really ever are, and those that like to think of themselves as different, cutting edge, cool, really are not, 9 times out of 10, they just fool themselves. There's this girl in my school who wrote the school magazine, the 'pupil' magazine, (my friend had the idea first, and it was meant to be underground, not school published. They had a dress sally page with all this 'alternative' clothing on it, and in maths once, me and gill made sally into dominatrix Greta. It was fun. oh, but my point) which was meant to be cool and alternative, but she just rambled about random (bad) American artists, ones that are not well known, because she thought that would make her cool and cultured. She also called everyone who uses straighteners a sheep, even though she does too. Hypocrite. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'm very hypocritical too sometimes, but it was just so blatant, and argh. I just don't like her, or people like her. Anyway. ok I'm going to go, because I think I have homework. ie lines to learn!

hello all

hello hello hello
I'm sorry its been a loooooooong time since my last blog. I do apologise! I now have blogger hoodie!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow!
goodbye goodbye goodbye

well I'll be!

merry christmas! ok i think im now just writing this (extremely) sporadically for myself. well. hmm. i might not write anymore anymore.
och well. of to tidy bedroom.