i-l-o-v-e-m-y-l-i-p-s

i might get mad and call my dad

i'm looking round my room. i have so much stuff.. and only two weeks left to pack it all up and get ready to move it all around the city... woop woop.. what fun. oh and a cow. which needs to get to ireland somehow.. how do these things happen to me?? bertha might need to go back to Nomy for a while.. oh dear.. another taxi for Bertha i think.

looks like this ceilidh is going ahead, so heres your official invitation- 30th june (a saturday) at newport-on-tay church hall, there will be a ceilidh in honour of my sister turning 18 (in january, oops), me turning 20 (but not really for that) and meggie coming home from the states. SO if you are in the country, you HAVE to come. I want it to be a really good night for my sister. There WILL be FOOD, but its BYOB if you want anything other than water or juice... :)

i hope to see you there.. from 7.30 on. if you need directions, or a place to stay, we can provide both things.. :)

hum. i think i need to go to bed really soon. i want to get up in the morning and be able to go to the gym before i have to get ready for work (bleurgh, work..)
so i shall say adieu.
adieu.

You are the God who sees me.

Genesis 16.13 Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. she said 'You are the God who sees me.'*
The Hebrew for the phrase 'You are the God who sees me.' is El-roi.

Matthew 15.8-9 These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, they teach man made ideas as commands from God. 11 It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; but you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.

Nehemiah 5.8 At the meeting I said to them, "We are doing all we can to redeem our Jewish relatives, who have had to sell themselves to pagan foreigners, but you are selling them back into slavery again. How often must we redeem them?"

Acts 15.11 We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of of the Lord Jesus.

well, its much later than i intended to be up tonight. i read recently that you should write as if you aren't going to be read and then you'll be honest and truthful. i'll try.

theres just so much to say and not enough time or space. i have issues that i need to sort out with God and myself, an incident that just keeps coming up in my mind from when i was like 11. people that i thought were friends that encouraged me in the wrong direction. nothing major, but its all baggage and it obstructs my relationship with God and others. and recently i've been really bad, i just haven't had the inclination to open my bible and to read the truth there. i am undisciplined and unmotivated and i find it hard when i'm home because i don't have the greatest church. and for all that the community is there, you really need the teaching too...
lord, i pray that you would be in that, that you would be with our minister in newport, with his family and the rest of the congregation, lord, help ken to be relevant and gospel based and real for the congregation. lord reveal yourself once again.. and lord, for the whole family, i pray you'd be in that situation, in your power.

God, i am so weak and feeble, i can't bring myself to be disciplined before you and yet if i am to be of any use this summer, i need your guidance. lord there are so many situations i just cannot do without you. El-roi, as Hagar named you, El-roi. you know what it is i lack, what i need to be taught, how i feel, what haunts me, lord it is all crystal clear to you. god i pray that you would begin to help me reconcile this image of how i am, how i really am, to how you would have me be. lord give me the strength to be directed and take it on board.


God, so many times, i feel like a pharisee, that iam defiling myself by the motivation of what i say and how i say it. god i pray you would challenge me on that. and i am scared to say that because i know You will. Lord God, i ask that you would truly be the one i fear and respect and love the most. God that i would be merciful to my neighbours and friends, that i would be helping redeem others, not selling them back into their "slavery".



This is how i journal quiet times. this is how i meditate on passages of scripture and how i'm trying, so hard, but with so little commitment sometimes, to read the whole bible. its hard, and its going to take more than a year, thats for sure.

Be still and know that I am God. psalm 46.10
thats a lesson i need to learn, for sure.





















[be still]















[know that I am God]











[be still]




i think i need to sleep now. my brain is tired. good night.

hee hee quizes..

You Are Elmo

Sweet and innocent, you expect everyone to adore you. And they usually do! You are usually feeling: Talkative. You've got tons of stories to tell. And when you aren't talking, you're laughing. You are famous for: Being popular, though no one knows why. Middle aged women especially like you. How you life your life: With an open heart. "Elmo loves you!"

http://www.blogthings.com/thesesamestreetpersonalityquiz/">The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

hee hee! i'm elmo!

refreshed

well, i've just tidied my room. in course of which i managed to lose lots of stuff.. some to my flatmates and a lot more to the charity shops. I have been needing to de-clutter for a while. i just want to get rid of everything, but thats not really sensible. i think there'll be another clear out before i move out of this place... possibly the craft box will get it in the neck this time.

I spent a week recently in a place called Ardmore point. its quite pretty, except whn the weather is miserable. and you might even spot these two having a cup of tea... they quite enjoy cups of tea. and sitting on wet seats on rainy days, outdoors.. two old glasgow wifies, as my friend morv would say. (and in fact just did, through the wonderful medium of itunes/msn)

This was part of k and j's art in the environment project. perhaps i'll post some of mine someday.. possibly not. but i really like this:

oh and ardmore point (well, a bit of it) on the most dreich day all year. woot!

i enjoy new starts..new flats, new friends, new cities.. that doesn't mean i'm giving up on the old stuff or not remembering it, but just an affirmation of the fact that change can be good.

i think i'm going to give up bebo/facebook/myspace for a week.

return...

so that last post was written today too but its ok, blogger is a little weird like that.. :)

party tomorrow- flat cooling, we're moving out on the 2nd of july, but kendra leaves before then...
so wear cool colours and come for the best party ever!!

essaays!! i promise, i am writing them...

don't take the slide

wow, what a mega two weeks..
Uhm, well, its been a while since i wrote that sentence, and i am aware that I should be writing my placement essay right now and that there are a million other things that i need to do, really soon, but for the moment i'm going to take ten minutes off to write here.

I realised i need to have more conversations with and about God. I really do. I was out with my friend Pete on tuesday and we had a really good chat about spring harvest- i was telling him some of the stuff i learnt, like the fact that God does not forgive sin. He can't. It's not in His nature to forgive our sins. He requires that there is a sacrifice to atone for the sins of the people. Once upon a time, there was a high priest, who, once a year could go into the holiest of holies and speak to God, pleading for His people and sacrificing a goat. how a goat could carry peoples sins, I have no idea, but God said that it was enough. This wasn't really good enough, so a man came along, a man who was completely sinless, who faced the ultimate and only temptation: to go his own way or Gods, the same temptation- wrapped up in different colours, but at its base, the exact same temptation- that we all face every day, and who, at the point it was most crucial, prayed and cried and pleaded and sweat blood for the decision. and God still didn't release him, yet it was still his choice. he could have turned away and left us sacrificing goats and he would no longer be sinless and the whole history of the world would be different, but he didn't. he said, yet not my will, but yours. and he went to his death, the lamb on the cross. Jesus died and shed blood and that was the ultimate sacrifice. Nothing more is neccessary to atone us, except living with and in Jesus. God sees only his beloved son.

I know all this and yet i still struggle to live it day on day, minute on minute, hour on hour. i find myself getting annoyed, frustrated, tense about things that are not supposed to make me feel that way, i get angry at things that are no-ones fault, but are my problem and yet I don't talk about it. I need to get my head straight, I need to just abide in Christ and let him live through me.

I'm going to meet a friend tomorrow and i really hope we have good conversations. and i really pray that our flatcooling tomorrow (which you are invited to, by the way.) will be awesome, but not just because of the food and booze and music, but also because we are having awesome conversations and because God will be watching over it and just letting the best aspects of every person there shine through. I really want people to enjoy themselves and enjoy each other and everything... ah, this is a bit of a confused rant, but thats ok. i have to get back to my stinky essay now.