now i understand

I'm listening to a cd I've not listened to in ages. In fact I've not listened to it since I was *going out* with a guy. Not in a good way. But thats all over, so its ok, but some of the songs remind me of him. Even though I only saw him twice. I used to put lyrics in the subject lines of E:mails... As you can probably guess, most of them were from songs on this album. That and some of the lyrics just remind me of that period of my life. Which I don't really want to remember right now. I guess the answer is to change the cd.. But another song, by the Killers (who I hadn't heard of *then*) reminded me of it too... The song is called "smile like you mean it" and the lyrics go "...And someone will drive her around / Down the same streets that I did / On the same streets that I did..." I don't why that specifically reminded me of him, except I thought, the other day as I was driving through Tayport, out towards St Andrews, "oh, *** drove me home this way once." Stupid really, cos it wasn't like we were really *involved* or anything, we just had coffee once and went to the cinema. And he was far too old. shit why am I talking about this now? I said nothing here at the time, when No-one read my blog. Well, no-one I knew, and now, when people can leave their mark I choose to regurgitate this crap. Fabbydoosey.

Its Indie rock'n'roll for me. Its all I need.
Smile like you mean it.

Anyway. I've just bared a part of my *torrid* past for those who fancy perusing it. I told two people the whole thing at camp. It was the first time I ever talked about it.. But my friend at camp was in a similar situation, so it helped her, which, I guess, is why I told them. I didn't know why at the time.

I don't have anything else to say about it, just, don't get involved with older guys. Thats my pearl of wisdom. I know what happened (that I've revealed) doesn't sound like much, but...

ha. well, I've never since managed to use up all my free minutes from late night phone calls. Or over run my text allowance by nearly 100 texts.

shoot, I feel kinda ill now. But that could just have been the oats earlier. I can't eat Gluten, but I'm doing an Oats test, so I had some oat cakes earlier. They weren't bad.

everything will be alright...