Who would fair better in the German Pastry Industry, Jesus, or the Buddha?

Ok, this is not my work, and I have to give credit where it is due. Jennifer Gracie wrote this incredible *ahem* essay.. Its been on my wall for a while.. Unfortunately, I can't reproduce the pictures decorating the page...


The German Pastry Industry is an extremely competitive marketplace, who would fair better in this environment; Jesus Christ [Superstar!!!] or Shakyamuni Buddha?

Firstly, the argument for Jesus Christ [Superstar!!!]. Well, we know he'd do well in the short term; the feeding of the 5,000 showed he is capable of mass production quickly. However we don't know the quality of the loaves and the fishes! Also he is likely to be Crucified at the age of 30 and when resurrected (for a short time, before ascention) may not be entirely interested in making danishes.

So, we come to Siddartha Gotama. He may not be so good for the pastry industry, considering pastries to be a pleasure, however he may continue to make them out through compassion for others. Not as good in the short term for production (he isn't capable of such mass production as Jesus), but consistent as he'll keep coming back. (Unless you're a Theravadan Buddhist, in which case he's in Parinibbana and not too interested in you or your pastries.)

So, basically, I'd go with Ganesh.
Elephants are great at making pastries.


well, that was the product of either a period of bored study or history. Take your pick.
Any names you don't get, just ask. Mike, if you read this, you should know all the names, YOU TOOK HIGHER RMPS and you DIDN'T fail. As far as I know.