Pay It Forward

exciting...

Here's the deal:

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days. That is my promise. The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

so hopefully i get something cool from donnaz (who i don't know..)
feel free to join too- i like making things- who knows what you'd get!! :)

everything is fragile

i should be doing some work, but i am not in the mood for writing essays. i'll do that later, so, instead, i'm working on christmas presents.

its fun.

i still want you.

to remind you where to stop

i have a couple wise friends. one told me today that i should look after myself after i answered her question: how are you doing at looking after yourself? with: er.. not well..?

so, i had catherine (another wise person..) over for sillyness.. we made sock puppets, and laughed a lot! it was awesome. this evening has been an evening for laughing lots. i like it. kirsty and i were really silly and hyper in starbucks afrer some caffeine and good leviticus chat and some pen borrowage (of my pen) by a beardy boy reading into the wild and exclaiming at things. it was awesome. we left the staff a note on a napkin along the lines: thanks for making coffee for us and clearing up after us- we're messy people. i love red cups. i love gingerbread lattes. ps jesus loves you.

thats how it goes- you gotta tell the truth- get it out there!!

my room smells weird.. kinda uhu-y but weirder...
i am tired and i hoovered today- thats the excitement of my life!!!!!!! :)

bagels

were inveted in 1610 in krakow and given to pregnant women in childbirth.

also- according to Jim, they are hotter than your average slice of bread when you compare the agony of taking either out of a toaster once toasted.

and they are the equivalent - again, according to Jim, fount of all knowledge that he is :) - of five slices of bread...

bet your day has been made better.

this post sponsored by the letter b.

you gotta breathe in and out

funny how the simplest things seem really profound sometimes...

anyway, i was walking home tonight all fired up to write about leviticus and then i ... didn't. i got sidetracked making my sisters christmas present.. still not sure how that one will work out- thats what happens when you try to add in too many things...

anyway, so, leviticus- well, we're up to chapter 16 now and there have been a few significant moments, like the first 7chapters and all the detail therein about sacrifices. then other things and most recently ch16 itself that talks about the holy of holies and how a priest should respect it as well as the day known as Yom Kippur- the day of atonement- our spring clean.

the book has really made me realise how lightly i take God and His promises to me- like, the israelites had to over continual sacrifices to make sure they were right with God and be really specific in asking for forgiveness and thats a real challenge- i find it really hard to be so specific, and i sin unintentionally all the time too. God has a sacrifice for that too. there are so many rules, but there are also so many good reasons for them. You must be holy because I am Holy- lev 15. kirsty and i had a really good conversation about our section. i think i need to reread it and rethink it tomorrow. if i don't post my thoughts, shout at me.

in other news... jules and i have doubled the length of the script we're writing today which is really really really food news.. :) yay! just a couple of all-nighters away from a complete draft.. uhm, so when i said "food" news, i meant good, but maybe it was freudian and i'm really hungry?? i think i might bake tomorroe too, since i don't get to go home or to the camp reunion... both sad things.

oh goodness, it takes a very long time for photos to upload to photobox... but we are close. once its done i get to sleep. hurrah!!! :)

toodles

no music day

i was reading a skinny mag article the other day at work that was talking about how this one guy decided that 21st november would be the day he listened to no music inorder to get a better understanding of it. i can't rember all that much about it, nor can i be bothered to pick my skinny off the floor and reread it, so you'll all just have to go out and pick up iss.26 with a picture of the darjeeling limited on the front and read the interview.

anyway, i was thinking about joining in with him and radio scotland and having a no music day. but then i realised i had teickets for jo mangos hootenany. which was great fun and included lots of new music that i'd never heard, so you know, thats got to be a goodthing... onyhoo.. i'm procrastinating. i need to get some work done. its hard though. i'm going to set myself a target and then i'll do something fun... four pages of dialogue? that sounds reasonable-ish. wish me luck.

edom had it coming.... right?

so i'm reading the book of obadiah. i've read it three times in three days now. its a short book. 21 verses. so maybe 50 sentences or so. not a lot. but it says quite big things- like be kind to your brothers nation, even though you hate them. (edomites were the descendents of Esau and israelites of Jacob, the brothers that fought a lot.) and that your day will come to be judged so don't be too harsh, don't sell people out to their enemies and gloat about it and don't think you're safe wherever you are- money won't protect you, nor can your friends...

but the thing thats really cool is that after wreaking destruction on the whole edomite race, God puts the israelites back in charge where they reign fairly and justly. so thats nice. even though they were persecuted, they ain't gonna take an eye for an eye.

so those are my random thoughts on obadiah. i'll let you knowe as i have more. jo mango's hootenany was awesome tonight- you should have been there.

sleepy time for suzi!

i'm being seduced

by wordpress.. it does look exciting.. but i feel like i'd be breaking up a long standing friendship were i to move... like divorce almost. i've had this baby four years (?) now. and i have an oversized blogger jumper too. hmm...

other than that, lots of good things about today, i had fun at placement, drank lots of tea.. mmmm.. yum. and talked to mocha, the cutest dog ever. got a fair bit of play writing done- 7pages and counting.. woohoo!! only another 50 or 60 to go. not much really.. ha ha ha. !!

in other news, i went to church twice yesterday and actually went forward for prayer both times. good experiences. reminds me why i should go up more often and really why i should make friends with more of the pastoral team.. not that i don't love all my other friends.. its just funny the way some people immediately get to really know the leaders of a church and others don't... anyhoo...

thats all for now i think.

and i still haven't found

oh my word, yesterday was a good day, lots of coffee and tea and chatting and people and news and ideas and...

Foy Vance.

the man is a genius. he has awesome shoes and really incredible songs. i love him. or at least his music. and his performance.

such a good day. one day soon i shall tell you all more about it. promise.

this is a good day

seeing people you like, talking about things that matter, eating good food drinking nice caffeinated beverages and having a sewing machine that works again. and it was so simple to fix too. hurrah.


good times.

:(

my sewing machine is in the huff..

:) i have clementines. fair trade ones no less.

somebody once asked could i spare some cash

you can hear lots of things through our walls. the folk downstairs having blazing arguments, the folk next door watching a movie/arguing etc my flatmates laughing on the phone... the washing machine killing all the dishes on the drying rack. we should be more italian about drying dishes.

i have so many projects buzzing around my head for christmas.. an idea for my sister and my dad.. possibly.. hmm.. maybe for my mum. they're all getting a handmade gift and probably an oxfam gift too..

i'm sure there is stuff i should be doing over this/finishing my quilt, but i'm going to fix the last panel tonight. i have decided... wish me luck!

do you know what your future will be?

i should really be getting ready to leave for uni.. and i will in two minutes.

but i thought i'd say something first. not sure exactly what, but... i was reading a blog earlier today about waiting for the person you will marry, praying for them etc.. and though i admire that sentiment and discipline, i'm not that convinced that i'm going to get married.. hmm.. thats an intersting thought right there- some people will refute that, and i would like one day to be married with kids, but who says i can't just adopt? or work in an orphanage? or any of the other million of options.

one thing i know- i have a heart for people. though i get grumpy and annoyed and want to be on my own sometimes (hmm, quite a lot this week, sorry guys..) and what have you, i enjoy doing things for people.. i guess i like to be needed. not always a good way to live. but thats how it goes. i gotta run now.. workshops beckon!

letting go of all empty things

jesus you are all i need...

today has been a weird day. we decided to fast for a day to focus ourselves again on God, on all He is and just the awesome ness of Him.

and also i recognised just how much of a failure i am. i chose today to do my fast because i thought of all the days this week i would have the most time to focus on god and His provision.. but instead i've wasted my time baking and getting annoyed at people and focusing on my own efforts and its so hard to break out of this cycle. i am trying, O God, how i'm trying, but really, i can't do it- father its all in your hands. i am sorely tempted to just break my fast. God help me not to.

I can be provided for by no-one else. only you, lord.

what a saviour.

you have no control

ok, so i know this is my third post in one day and nothing particularly exciting has actually happened today, but i have discovered a renewed vigour for my blog.. though i probably have less time than ever to actually blog.. or do anything else.. don't you worry though (as james would say in his inimitable irish way- every time i say don't you worry, i have to say it irishly james like... now that's worrying. no, really, it is. very.) i still wash. as always. washing is always high in my list of things to do..

tomorrow comes with such surprising speed and i have to talk about Leviticus in it. i met a girl on Sunday who had heard about me- that's worrying- to be fair only through Kirsty because we're doing Leviticus together- it is a proper challenge. i'd recommend it so far though.. its pretty interesting. i think i need to be sleeping more in my life. i know i've mentioned this a few times.

i was looking through some of my archives today- like at particular labels and its really interesting to see what i was writing about a year or two years ago.. i have had this thing for quite a long time.. since 2003 to be exact- and that is a long time.. four years!! its bizarre to see the ways things have progressed since then- my first posts were full of crap, and some of my friends wrote here too.. but now its purely me.. ha ha ha. i wrote about being coeliac- not often, in fairness, but occasionally. told you (the Internet) how i was feeling when Nicky died, when i started a relationship with Gareth, how that all ended up, when i went to uni, debates i had about religion, people who inspired me, when my gran died, that weekend in new york. i love people and i love writing about people and things that happen. i love people being happy. lots of my friends are in the getting engaged/married/having babies stage- ok, i say lots, yes five couples i know did get married this summer, another couple of couples are pregnant another couple of friends got engaged recently and some people are just madly in love, whether in or out of the context of a relationship.

i want to be madly in love. mostly with Jesus. man, i was talking to this guy will tonight- he's a post grad that came along to CU tonight, and was talking about how he became a christian and describing this huge hunger inside of himself for Jesus, how he just loves Christ and how Jesus has molded him into the person he is, his mission being to see people brought closer to Jesus, and i was like, i want to feel that, i want to cry out to God and feel him right there next to me, saying, hey, suzi, its all good, i love you completely and i will never let you go.. because sometimes i find it hard to hear that, to know that if i go to God then he'll wrap me up in his arms, because i am not the person i really want and wish to be.. i am so much more insecure than that person, i am so much more of a let down, i will always back out, take the easy road and miss out, but i don't want to, i want to be changed, challenged and really take up the mantle of the mission God has set before me.

reading john ortberg's 'when the game is over it all goes back in the box' right now and its a really good challenge- to realise that God has put me right here for a reason, this is my mission field, i should be serving right here, God has something planned for me right here.. pray that i'll say yes when my Mordecai (he was using the example of Esther) presents a challenge to me.. maybe you're my Mordecai- whats my challenge?? nudge and encourage me toward it, shout scream yell it at me.. keep working on me, make me take it up, remind me God never said it would be easy but hat he would be sufficient...

i don't think i have anything else i want to say. apart from i plan to spell check this.. i hope its readable by the time you get to it... :) (ha- i type better than i thought i did.. apart from capitals, which i refuse to do because i much prefer lower-case. except, obviously, in essays..)

hail mary full of grace

no, i haven't become a catholic, but thats what the girl standing next to me at the bus stop said when our bus finally came. she'd been waiting nearly an hour and was late to meet her boyfriend. we were talking about how buses never came on time, but that the no9 was usually reliable and then we were talking about her life, it was so random but completely awesome. i don't know her name, but i know she studied admin at college for a while, had a baby boy called christopher when she was going on 17 (she's 17, nearly 18 now) her boyfriend, and christophers dad is declan, he's a year younger, she's just got her own flat and saving for driving lessons and a car- thats how the whole conversation started, she couldn't wait to be driving, and how she wasn't sure that her and declan would lastthe course. she's going to start at college doing hairdressing cos she already works in a salon. she was so lovely, and i wish i could have talked to her more. it was only once i was off the bus i thought i could have invited her for tea- maybe someday i'll meet her on another bus and we can talk some more.

oh, and emma, to answer your question- yes, it all went fine- thanks to God.

i like days like this..

always next to you

hey hey you you i don't like your girlfriend

thats a bit what i feel like at the moment.. we've got a staff student meeting this afternoon and we've got to raise an issue of a class that is really not up to scratch...argh

and cu tonight should be banterful- karen kirsten graeme and i are doing it and i'm not entirely prepared yet.. but thats ok, i have an hour to prepare before our meeting at 4..
yeek

its a long day.. in fact its oing to be a long week.. woop woop...

the happiest night

hmmm.. odd sort of day really.. church, lunch, workshop, sillyness, dinner, friends, film, work.

twas fun though.

i think i'm tired and should not really write anything else or it'll get silly and messy-- i tend to write stupid things when i'm tired.

i'm making a bracelet from beads nomy brought me back from kenya.. they're really pretty, i like them. nomy and i went to mother india cafe on saturday night- it was yummy!!! i love indian food.. pretty much, i love food. i have a friend who can't eat chicken.. thats gotta be tough. i say that and i can't eat bread, so i guess its similar. hmmm,,, intersting.

as you can see- that was an example of my rambling tiredness.. i am tired and things make sense in my brain so i write them down, but miss out the connection- ie, i was thinking how we ate chicken tikka and chicken with extra ginger and spinach last night and had chicken at lj and anna's tonight and my friend couldn't have either. but he could have the pakora... mmm.. and the dahl.. mmm..

made banana bread really late last night and then cried my eyes out at extreme makeover- home edition. heart wrenching.

mat, my gay friend from work has a date,. he's uber-excited. aaah, he makes me laugh- a lot. if you've seen 40 year old virgin, then you might get our relationship- alot of our banter is about calling each other gay. though really, i should be telling mat how straight he is, since he already knows he's gay.. ho hum. typical exchange:
mat: know how i know you're gay?
me: how?
mat: cos dorothy thought there was no place like home.
me: know how i know you're gay?
mat: how?
me: cos julie andrews told me
and so on and so forth. its actually hilarious, but everyone else in the world thinks we're nutters and/or we're nutters.

we are.

i really need to sleep, cos i have class and filming and a staff student meeting tomorrow as well as cu that i'm really unprepared for... gah!!

meep