wee-oo-wee-oh

I've watched a lot of House recently. If you've never seen it, its this crazy american medical drama starring Hugh Laurie (with a very un-British accent) as the cynical detached pill-popping Dr House who always get the diagnosis. Its pretty addictive.

Anyway, I was thinking, as I watched this, that we are quite like that sometimes, always looking for the complex answer when sometimes (alright, admittedly never in House) the answer actually is the easiest one.

To be honest, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I've had a few conversations recently that have been really good, like yesterday I had a really good chat with a friend about life and especially about CU this year, which has been really encouraging, because it's always really hard to make decisions, especially ones that have consequences for more people than just yourself. So deciding to take on a role in CU this year has been a big issue. For ages I wasn't sure I would be any good, or would be fired up about it, but some people have just been encouraging, about me personally, the gifts and talents they see me bringing to groups and about how the experience will make me grow. So that has all been good. It's been encouraging to hear from people what they think of me, how they've seen me grow, because I find it very hard to gauge how I have actually grown, what I have learnt and put into practice.

The episode of House I was just watching was all about a doctor who has been working in Africa for the last twenty years treating TB and who had caught the disease- as well as having a tumor on his pancreas. Anyway, he was adamant that he didn't want the TB treatment until more medicine was promised to his practices in Africa. He seemed selfless. He knew how to work the media, he was a bit of a charmer. And it struck me that we can all be a bit like that, we want, supposedly to help other people, but how much is it about helping ourselves? This man, in the last scene, as he was leaving hospital to goo back to Africa was, once again, surrounded by camera crews. He was at home there. Yes, he was all noble and saving lives, but he loved the attention it generated him, whereas House couldn't care less what people thought of him, as long as he ended up doing the right thing and treating the patient. I want to be more like House, not caring what the world thinks, neither when they hate me, nor- harder- when they love me. It's such a hard thing to do, to not judge yourself by the worlds standards, by what theythink you should be doing, how much you should be earning, whatever. I need to learn to judge myself by Gods standards, what he thinks of me. It's hard. I'm still learning.

This was a bit disjointed.. sorry.