don't you worry now

ah, today has been long.
and hard.
the workshops i was at this morning were good, but i didn't really feel like there was much point in me being there. i couldn't really contribute much to the process. but it was good to see what all was happening.
then i got back, did a few wee bits of shopping, went to try and collect the end of my prescription, which i have been having hassle about for the last few weeks. i got something eventually. but it wasn't what i'd ordered. i was meant to have fresh bread, but instead i had vacuum packed part baked bread. which was fine and wouldn't have been a problem if i hadn't already had this problem from that pharmacy before and if i hadn't had to explain to several staff members during the last two weeks what i wanted. the pharmacist was very nice and apologetic, but because anything else would just have been too much hassle i took what they had. the frustrations of the day just started to get to me.
as i was making my lunch (cheese and beans on toast. i've decided i like beans again. in moderation.) using the last of the bread i baked last week, i sliced my finger open. the pain of that, combined with my earlier frustration just was the last straw, i just had to cry.
anyway, i got my lunch and then mr kohli came round to take away the heaters we don't need any more, could only take one with him, so is coming back for the others... and he promised us a new microwave :) result.

ach. it was ok, i just had a bit of a crummy day and i don't think the weather helped. by the way, "fourplay" is a pretty crap film. i only watched a quarter of it, but it wasn't gripping at all.

so i'm courried up in bed, getting warm.
this week has been odd and long. on wednesday housegroup was really good, then i went round to bobs to give him his birthday present and ended up not leaving til 2am. it was fun. thursday was long. the kids at myt were hyper about going to the theatre and then the bus broke. the show was really good though. friday was soo long but i got to see my mum, which was really good because i haven't seen her for a while and i miss her. and then after work i went to campus to see gemma on her birthday, so that was fun.

oh, yeah, kirsten came round earlier too so that was cool, had a wee chat.
man, i've eaten too much.

i some times wonder if i'll ever get married. i know a few people who are getting married this year/in the near future and a few couples who will, at some point in the not-too-distant future probably end up walking down the aisle and although i know its not something i want right now, i used to think that it was definite that i would get married anf have a family, but now i'm not so sure. much as i'd enjoy the companionship and enjoy a family, i'm not sure i see where they'll fit. thats a very selfish view, but thats honest. but then again, i don't want to be alone always- with god around i know thats not possible, but, d'ya know sometimes you just need a real person to give you a hug, by real i mean physically present. i'm not sure where i'm going with this, but i have to leave for work soon, so i'll leave you with these half-formed thoughts.

in the words of jo:
it’s a hard day, nothing is right
and the words “i need a hug” are hard to fight
when i’ve had my fill of the blue light
then your face is the sight for my sore eyes
for my sore eyes
but if i am me with you
the way i want to be with you
then you are sore whilst i am free
that doesn’t seem so fair to me
that doesn’t seem like grace
or beauty to me
beauty from me
when you are an echo underneath the bridge at night
i wonder if i may have hurt your eyes with all this light
so just say the word and i’ll try with all my might
to hide away ’till you feel alright
’till you feel alright
it’d be a hard day yes it would…
but better than a hard life